High on Claude

Blessing or curse? I've been trying to answer this for two days now.

I'm on Claude's Max 20x plan. The biggest one. There's no plan above it, nothing left to upgrade to. And I still run out of my weekly limit almost every week.

When I slept on Wednesday, I had used around 70%. I intentionally got it there so that I would run out by Friday and take the weekend easy. The reset was due Saturday. So the plan in my head was simple — use the remaining 30% slowly, behave, enjoy the weekend.

I woke up Thursday and it was 0%. Reset two days early.

A blessing, right? A full weekly limit in two days means almost unlimited usage on my plan — even if you're running Opus on ultracode mode in three different sessions concurrently.

This has happened before. Twice. And every time I've grabbed it with both hands. All the paused projects, everything I couldn't finish because the limit ran out — my head instantly made the list. Weekend gone. Sleep gone. Worked like crazy on Thursday, still working heavily right now with pain in the eyes. That's the curse part.

And somewhere in between I caught myself asking — why am I grinding this hard? Things are going well. Nobody is forcing me. Why?

Because these two months have changed me. I can't even recognize the person from two-three months back. Not years — months. The way I think now, the way I work now, I don't fully have words for it. I've become someone who doesn't want to leave the room even to drink water. I love traveling but I don't even want to do that. I avoid alcohol when I go out, so that I can work after I get home.

There have been days I worked from morning till night and only at dinner realized I never had breakfast or lunch. I used to work out five-six days a week, eat clean, take my health seriously. Now I have dark circles and a Screen Time report I'm half proud of and half scared of.

One of the things I built in this time — a full product for my company. I remember posting the project on Upwork, writing out the whole plan, waiting for developers to apply. 32 proposals came in. And then I decided to build it myself.

We have developers in-house. People asked me — why is a co-founder fixing every tiny bug with his own hands, save your time, do something nicer. But this is the nicer thing. I wanted this one. I wanted to learn it, touch every part of it, make it the best thing I've ever made. Every small change, I thought like a real user — what would I want here? You can't hand that over. And I know myself. If I put this much of myself into something, I will make sure it does not fail. I don't give up on things I decide.

What exists today is so far beyond that Upwork plan, I can't even compare the two.

So — a blessing or a curse? My sleep is spoiled, my health routine is gone, my weekends belong to a usage meter. And I'm enjoying the wave more than anything I've done in years.

I still don't have the answer. Maybe that's the answer.